Watching my 17-year-old daughter battle leukemia was the hardest thing I had ever faced as a mother.
I thought the surprise waiting in her hospital room would be the most emotional part of that night, but I was wrong. The cup of hospital coffee in my hand had gone cold hours earlier, yet I still held it like it was the only thing keeping me steady. Six months had passed since the word leukemia entered our lives. My daughter, Carol, was only seventeen, and I was a single mother trying to smile through fear no smile could truly hide.
Before she got sick, Carol dreamed about prom for years. She used to cut pictures of dresses from magazines and tape them to her bedroom mirror. “Mom,” she would say, “promise you’ll do my hair that night.” I always promised her I would. Now chemotherapy had taken her hair, and those magazine pictures still waited at home like pieces of a life she was supposed to have.
One afternoon, I sat beside her hospital bed while she slept. The latest treatment had left her weaker than before. Her face looked thinner, her hands smaller. Beside her was a leather journal I had bought her months earlier. She wrote in it every day and often tucked folded letters between the pages. When I leaned over to adjust her pillow, she woke and quickly slid the journal under her blanket.
“Sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“It’s okay, Mom,” she said with a tired smile. “Just girl stuff.”
A moment later, her phone buzzed. Daryl’s name flashed on the screen before she turned it over. Daryl had been her best friend since middle school, the kind of boy who remembered birthdays and always checked on her. “He’s texting again?” I asked. Carol smiled faintly. “He’s just being Daryl.” I squeezed her foot through the blanket. “He’s a good kid.”
Her eyes moved toward the window. Prom was only four days away.
“Mom?”
“Yes, baby?”
“Do you think I’ll get to go?”
The question broke something inside me. I wanted to tell her the truth—that I didn’t know. Instead, I forced a smile and said, “You’re going to prom one way or another.” Carol watched me for a long moment, then nodded and reached for my hand.
Two days later, another round of chemotherapy made her even worse. I drove her back to the hospital while she rested silently against the window. She was admitted for one night, then another, then indefinitely. One evening, she whispered, “Mom, what if I don’t make it?” I smoothed her head and fought back tears. “You’re going to make it to plenty of proms, sweetheart. This is just a delay.” She turned toward the wall and said nothing.
